Learning to dance

Dancing hasn't always been my thing.  For the longest time, I was afraid of looking silly, and of being the only person who didn't know what to do when the music started.  In the thick of adolescent anxiety, I felt too uncomfortable, too vulnerable, to express myself with dance.  So I didn't.

Aside from just growing up, there were two things in particular that helped me kick my fear of dancing and of self-expression.

First, I was introduced to Qoya.  Qoya is a movement system created for women.  It's little like yoga and a lot like creative, expressive (even meditative) dance.  When I first tried Qoya, using online videos for guidance, one principle really resonated with me: it's not about how it looks, it's about how it feels.  Home alone, curtains drawn, I closed my eyes and let myself stop caring about how my dancing looked.  And then, something magical happened: I started to enjoy dancing.  It took intentional silliness and dancing like no one was watching--because no one was watching--to shake (quite literally) my fear of looking silly.

The other thing that helped me let go of my anxiety was deeper transformation and growth in my life, assisted by homeopathic remedies prescribed by my naturopathic doctor.  As she explained, homeopathic remedies help to combat a "stuck" feeling.  Sometimes, we can see ourselves behaving in ways that are not consistent with our true natures, because of old habits or conditioning.  A good constitutional homeopathic remedy helps break through that, and lets us choose how to respond instead of sinking into the groove of old behavior patterns.  In my case, homeopathic remedies helped me to overcome my old pattern of meekness, and to find my voice.  I am growing into myself.

This growth is evident in my recent activities:  I went to my first dance (ever!) this August, though I didn't do anything particularly interesting.  A month or so ago, I danced as part of my role in a play.  And then, the crowning jewel: as a perfect symbol of the growth I've made over the past year, I welcomed in the New Year with dancing--adventurous, bold, joyful dancing with friends at a New Year's party.  I have a feeling 2014's gonna be a good year.

The things that make you YOU

In the past year or so, I have gone through some pretty amazing transformations, health-wise.  Daily stomach aches are a thing of the past, as they have been for a while now.

However, in the past month (or three), stress has taken a pretty heavy toll.  I had been so busy with school, all the while trying to process a shift in a friendship, that I had neglected myself.  I buried myself in schoolwork and housework and a million little errands and obligations, and when I finally surfaced I found myself sulking about and suffering through stomach aches all over again.  My nervous system was running on overdrive.  When my alarm clock went off in the mornings, I would wake up and my heart would race or I would start shaking.  Obviously, something had to change.


When I visited my naturopath last week, in addition to homeopathic support, she gave me words of wisdom.  The words that most resonated with me were these:

Don't give up the things that make you YOU.

So that's what today's post is about--slowing down, clearing out the hustle and hurry from day-to-day life, and making space for the things that matter most.  The things that define you, that will make up the most memorable parts of your life.  We all have things that we have to get done, but it is important that we not to let to-do lists compel us to hurry our lives away.

For me, this means putting away homework and all of the various forms of digital distractions at each meal, so that I can to sit down and actually enjoy my food.  It also means that in addition to my daily to-do list, I need to keep another (equally important) list of things that I need to do for myself during the day.  Sometimes this means crochet, curling up with a good book, taking a hot bath, going on a walk, journaling or practicing yoga.  Today, it meant blogging before bed and taking a break from homework for twenty minutes of Qoya (which, over the past few months, has re-taught me the joy of dancing that I seem to have lost during a phase of adolescent self-consciousness--but that's another blog post).  When I have too much on my plate, rather than let anxiety drive me crazy, I practice asking for help and saying 'no' to new commitments. 

Another thing that helps me 'just be' is to take a few minutes, when I first wake up in the morning, to think about the way I want my day to go and the things that I would like to accomplish.  I breathe in and think about the situations that might come up over the course of my day, breathe out and visualize my ideal response or the way I would like things to go.  In, input; out, outcome.

These few simple changes in my daily routine have made a world of difference for my peace of mind.  After instituting these new principles in my daily life, contentment is once again attainable, and I find myself making better use of my work time.  With the additional help of homeopathic remedies prescribed by my naturopath, the stomach aches and the morning shakes are gone.  I've also started to meditate, via journaling, on the best way for me to address the recent changes in a friendship, and found that the same principles hold true:  I do not have to jump ship; rather, I need to establish a new set of boundaries.

As always, I would love to hear from my readers:  What makes you YOU?  Do you make a rule of taking time for yourself?  And if you don't already, in what ways might you begin?  Do these changes necessitate introspection or an outreach for help?


This post is linked to Party Wave Wednesday 10/30/13 at Holistic Squid and Tasty Traditions 10/30/13 at Cultured Palate

On Stretch Marks, Weight and Metabolism

Whew.  How's that for a lofty title? 

Stretch marks, weight and metabolism.  It seems everyone, these days, has something to say on these three hot topics.  Being a seventeen-year-old student, I am certainly no expert.  Still, I find that my favorite blogs are those that provide information in conjunction with stories of personal experiences, and thus, it is my hope that what I have to say here might be of interest to someone.

I have already posted the story of how I initially changed my diet (which you can find here), but of course, there is much more to health than that.  While I have never been overweight, many of my habits have been less than healthy. 

Until a little over a year ago, my family's diet was a small step up from the infamous, standard American diet (often affectionately nicknamed SAD).  We cooked at home, but many ingredients were already highly processed:  canned soups, processed cheese, sugary condiments, shortening, etc.  Corn was a vegetable, and baking loads of sugary treats was my hobby.  I knew that my diet was unhealthy, but I didn't know what was healthy, and I felt like I didn't have any options.

In the realm of physical exercise, I was likewise clueless.  I had never been big on sports, so when recess went away, so did my physical activity.  I knew that I should do something, but here, too, I felt trapped.  I wasn't allowed to just hop on a bike or take a walk on my own, and my sister whined and moaned whenever we went together.

School occupied most of my time, so I resolved to improve my diet and fitness over the summer.  I worked a few more vegetables into my diet and watched workout videos on YouTube, but the real catalyst was my appointment with a naturopathic doctor.

When I look back, it's astonishing to see how much has changed in just one year.  Now, I am the one responsible for constructing a grocery list, and each week we fill our cart with fresh, whole foods.  I practice yoga or pilates for an hour almost every day.  My mom has lost around 15 pounds, though she still snacks on cookies and visits the gym less than once a week.  All in all, it seems that my health must have improved dramatically, along with my improved habits.

Well, sort of.

In some really important ways, my health has improved.  Many of the digestive troubles that prompted me to begin this journey, in the first place, have been resolved.  As far as fitness goes, I have more muscle now than I have ever had before.

Other problems persist--moodiness, low energy, trouble sleeping and skin problems among them.  These problems, I understand, are at least partly due to a small-intestinal bacterial overgrowth, which I am working with my naturopath to resolve.

However, there's something else that makes me think that there is more to the story:  a little over a month ago, I noticed that I have been gaining weight.  Enough weight, in fact, that brand new stretch marks, red and angry, blossomed up around my upper legs. 

I'm not going to lie.  At first, I freaked out a little bit.  I don't keep a scale in my house, so it was easy to think that my jeans were tighter because they had shrunk in the wash.  My first clue that I was gaining weight was rosy-red stretch marks.  I blamed the weight gain on a lack of enthusiasm in my workouts, and traded in my hour of yoga for pilates and cardio exercises.

Several weeks later, I had less energy and even more stretch marks.  It wasn't fair, I thought.  How could I gain weight on cauliflower while my family members lost weight on cookies?

And then, I was struck with a thought:  if I was eating the least and exercising the most that I ever had, then I shouldn't also weigh the most that I ever had.  Something just wasn't adding up.

I read a couple of books that got me thinking about metabolism--Nourished Metabolism, by Elizabeth Walling, and Diet Recovery 2, by Matt Stone--and then wrote down everything that I ate for one day.  Without having realized it, in my difficulty following the specific-carbohydrate diet, I had only consumed around 1100 calories--one half of my recommended daily intake--that day.  No wonder my body was so confused!

Because I wasn't eating enough calories, in a proper balance of carbs, protein and fat, my body responded as it would to a famine.  It began to conserve and store energy, which resulted in weight gain and poor mood, energy and immune functions.  By anyone's standards, 1100 calories is not enough for an active teenager.  Even so, many diets, while perhaps not quite as restrictive, cause the same metabolic damage.

According to Walling and Stone, healing a metabolism isn't as difficult as I had originally supposed, either.  All a person has to do is eat, exercise when she feels like it, rest and relax. 

As I am at the beginning of this journey, I haven't much advice to bestow.  At this point, I am just relieved to learn that the progression towards health is such a forgiving process.

This post is linked to Party Wave Wednesday 5/30/13 at Holistic Squid and Sunday School 6/2/13 at Butter Believer

The Learning Curve

Prior to any dietary restrictions, my mom did most of my family's grocery shopping.  She could run in and out of the grocery store in about 35 minutes, zipping through the aisles in record time. 

Now, I always accompany my mom on trips to the grocery store.  Expert label-reader that I am, it still takes a good deal of time to comb through a store--actually, several stores--to find allergen-free foods.  And then, as complicated as grocery shopping can be, it's only half the battle.  Sometimes, the real struggle takes place in the kitchen.

There's a learning curve, but after a period of transition, the process of shopping for and preparing food becomes streamlined.  Here are a few of the lessons that have helped me in the past few months:

1. Focus on fresh, whole foods.  When it comes to finding allergen-free food, the outer ring of the grocery store is your best bet.  In a conventional grocery store, you're much more likely to find peanut, soy, or whatever else-free meats and produce than cookies and crackers.  In this way, food allergies are a blessing in disguise:  they give you an extra kick to eat healthily.

2. Find new favorites.  Rather than try to replace old favorites with an exact allergen-free equivalent, which can be disappointing, sometimes it's best to find new favorites entirely.  You might be amazed what variety of fruits and vegetables your local grocery store offers.  You also might be amazed to realize which ones you haven't yet tried. 

Another good place to search for new favorites is the ethnic food aisle.  My favorite things from the ethnic food aisle are canned coconut milk, red and green curry paste, puppodums, rice paper wraps, dried legumes and grains. 

You could also purchase more exotic ingredients, such as blueberry balsamic vinegar or flavored extracts, online.

3. Keep snacks around.  It's a good idea to keep some quick-preparing pantry staples on hand.  Gluten free crackers aren't always very tasty, but you'll sure be glad you thought to purchase some when the fridge is empty.

4. Don't be afraid to mess up.  This one is key.  Especially with baking, mistakes happen.  Not everything that you make is going to taste good, but that's okay.  It's part of the journey.  You won't learn anything if you never try anything new. 

5. Figure out what works for you.  Some people like foods that others might not, and some people are willing to put more time into their food than others.  Every body is different, so take all advice with a grain of salt.

Well, that's it for today!  I'll be back next week, possibly with a recipe for gluten free sourdough.  See you then!

My Story

 
As a kid, my favorite food was always bread.  I loved nothing more than to stuff myself with a thick, yeasty pizza crust every Saturday night.  Little did I know, my favorite food didn’t love me back.

When I was in fifth grade, I developed a hereditary skin disease called psoriasis. I wore long-sleeved polo shirts and long pants, rain or shine, to cover the angry red splotches that peppered my arms, legs and torso. A flaky crust of dried skin blanketed my scalp, choking out some of my hair. After trying a dozen different creams and lotions to no avail, I visited a dermatologist.  The doctor was specifically a children’s dermatologist, but as a fifth grade student, I found his brusque approach intimidating.  I was thoroughly overwhelmed when the visit closed with a blood draw.  While the medications prescribed by the dermatologist were effective in temporarily easing my symptoms of psoriasis, the rash always returned.

In middle school, the clues continued to emerge:  breakfast left me feeling unsettled, and all too often, my stomach ached terribly, inexplicably, in the middle of the afternoon. When I moved on to high school, the discomfort came with me. By my sophomore year of high school, digestive discomfort plagued me more often than not.

I was determined to get to the bottom of the issue. Every night before I went to sleep, I scoured the internet for individuals with experiences similar to my own. I was shocked to find that many of the symptoms of Celiac disease exactly matched my own. Here was an explanation for not only my digestive discomfort, but also my psoriasis, migraines and moodiness. Repeated searches supported my hypothesis. I was going to have to give up bread. 

At first, the idea of going gluten free terrified me.  The more I thought about it, though, the surer I became that it was the thing to do. 

Rather than repeat my experience with conventional medicine, I decided to visit a naturopathic doctor.  This doctor, barefoot and wearing a colorful sundress, personally greeted my mother and me at the door of the clinic. We visited with her whilst filling out paperwork, and then she sat down with us for nearly two hours, asking me questions and explaining the inner-workings of the body.  The doctor prescribed only dietary changes and supplements, but a short while after visiting the naturopath, miscellaneous and seemingly unrelated aches and pains disappeared. Within two weeks, the after-dinner stomachaches ceased.  My psoriasis, though not yet completely gone, was as minimal as it had been since before fifth grade.

As the naturopath explained it, the main principle of naturopathy is that the body has the capacity to heal itself, and that all systems of the body work together. The skin, for instance, might expel unwanted toxins that could not otherwise be expelled from the body. This is why, in the long run, the topical medications prescribed by the dermatologist were ineffective in combating my psoriasis. However, when the pressure is removed from one system of the body, a healthy balance is restored to the body as a whole. In my case, this was accomplished by changing my diet. As it turned out, a blood test revealed that I was allergic to not only wheat but also eggs, dairy, pineapple and halibut. 

Others often react with pity when they hear of my dietary restrictions, but I don’t feel sorry for myself.  Instead, I feel sorry for those who eat whatever they please and later suffer the consequences.  I cannot recommend a food allergy test highly enough.

 Over time, I imagine that the contents of this blog will come to reflect my interests in food and health, perhaps coupled with a bit of scientific research. 

As for now, thanks for reading, and I hope you’ll join me in my quest for health.

 Madeline